LIFE'S LIKE THAT

A lady in a faded gingham dress and her husband, dressed in a homespun
threadbare suit, stepped off the train in Boston, and walked timidly
without an appointment into the Harvard University President's outer
office.

The secretary could tell in a moment that such backwoods, country
hicks had no business at Harvard & probably didn't even deserve to be
in Cambridge.

'We'd like to see the president,' the man said softly.  'He'll be busy
all day,' the secretary snapped. 'We'll wait,' the lady replied.
For hours the secretary ignored them, hoping that the couple would
finally become discouraged and go away. They didn't, and the secretary
grew frustrated and finally decided to disturb the president, even
though it was a chore she always regretted.

'Maybe if you see them for a few minutes, they'll leave,' she said to him!

He sighed in exasperation and nodded. Someone of his importance
obviously didn't have the time to spend with them, and he detested
gingham dresses and homespun suits cluttering up his outer  office.

The president, stern faced and with dignity, strutted toward the
couple. The lady told him, 'We had a son who attended Harvard for one
year.

He loved Harvard. He was happy here. But about a year ago, he was
accidentally killed. My husband and I would like to erect a memorial
to him, somewhere on campus.'

The president wasn't touched. He was shocked. 'Madam,' he said,
gruffly, 'we can't put up a statue for every person who attended
Harvard and died. If we did, this place would look like a cemetery.'

'Oh, no,' the lady explained quickly. 'We don't want to erect a
statue. We thought we would like to give a building to Harvard.'

The president rolled his eyes. He glanced at the gingham dress and
homespun suit, then exclaimed, 'A building! Do you have any earthly
idea how much a building costs? We have over seven and a half million
dollars in the physical buildings here at Harvard.'

For a moment the lady was silent. The president was pleased. Maybe he
could get rid of them now.

The lady turned to her husband and said quietly, 'Is that all it costs
to start a university? Why don't we just start our own?'

Her husband nodded. The president's face wilted in confusion and
bewilderment. Mr. and Mrs. Leland Stanford got up and walked away,
traveling to Palo Alto, California where they established the
university that bears their name, Stanford University, a memorial to a
son that Harvard no longer cared about.

You can easily judge the character of others by how they treat those
who they think can do nothing for them.

Keep the Spark Alive!!!

Keep the Spark Alive!!!

 

Inaugural Speech for the new batch at the Symbiosis BBA program 2008

(c) Chetan Bhagat

 

 

Good Morning everyone and thank you for giving me this chance to speak
to you. This day is about you. You, who have come to this college,
leaving the comfort of your homes (or in some cases discomfort), to
become something in your life. I am sure you are excited. There are few
days in human life when one is truly elated. The first day in college
is one of them. When you were getting ready today, you felt a tingling
in your stomach. What would the auditorium be like, what would the
teachers be like, who are my new classmates - there is so much to be
curious about. I call this excitement, the spark within you that makes
you feel truly alive today. Today I am going to talk about keeping the
spark shining. Or to put it another way, how to be happy most, if not
all the time.

Where do these sparks start? I think we are born with them. My 3-year
old twin boys have a million sparks. A little Spiderman toy can make
them jump on the bed. They get thrills from creaky swings in the park. A
story from daddy gets them excited. They do a daily countdown for
birthday party - several months in advance - just for the day they will
cut their own birthday cake.

I see students like you, and I still see some sparks. But when I see
older people, the spark is difficult to find. That means as we age, the
spark fades. People whose spark has faded too much are dull, dejected,
aimless and bitter. Remember Kareena in the first half of Jab We Met vs
the second half? That is what happens when the spark is lost. So how
to save the spark?

Imagine the spark to be a lamp's flame. The first aspect is nurturing -
to give your spark the fuel, continuously. The second is to guard
against storms.

To nurture, always have goals. It is human nature to strive, improve
and achieve full potential. In fact, that is success. It is what is
possible for you. It isn't any external measure - a certain cost to
company pay package, a particular car or house.

Most of us are from middle class families. To us, having material
landmarks is success and rightly so. When you have grown up where money
constraints force everyday choices, financial freedom is a big
achievement.

But it isn't the purpose of life. If that was the case, Mr Ambani would
not show up for work. Shah Rukh Khan would stay at home and not dance
anymore. Steve Jobs won't be working hard to make a better iPhone, as he
sold Pixar for billions of dollars already. Why do they do it? What
makes them come to work everyday?

They do it because it makes them happy. They do it because it makes them
feel alive. Just getting better from current levels feels good. If you
study hard, you can improve your rank. If you make an effort to
interact with people, you will do better in interviews. If you practice,
your cricket will get better. You may also know that you cannot become
Tendulkar, yet. But you can get to the next level. Striving for that
next level is important.

Nature designed with a random set of genes and circumstances in which we
were born. To be happy, we have to accept it and make the most of
nature's design. Are you? Goals will help you do that.

I must add, don't just have career or academic goals. Set goals to give
you a balanced, successful life. I use the word balanced before
successful. Balanced means ensuring your health, relationships, mental
peace are all in good order.

There is no point of getting a promotion on the day of your breakup.
There is no fun in driving a car if your back hurts. Shopping is not
enjoyable if your mind is full of tensions.

You must have read some quotes - Life is a tough race, it is a
marathon or whatever. No, from what I have seen so far, life is one of
those races in nursery school. Where you have to run with a marble in a
spoon kept in your mouth. If the marble falls, there is no point coming
first. Same with life, where health and relationships are the marble.
Your striving is only worth it if there is harmony in your life. Else,
you may achieve the success, but this spark, this feeling of being
excited and alive, will start to die.

One last thing about nurturing the spark - don't take life seriously.
One of my yoga teachers used to make students laugh during classes. One
student asked him if these jokes would take away something from the yoga
practice. The teacher said - don't be serious, be sincere. This quote
has defined my work ever since. Whether its my writing, my job, my
relationships or any of my goals. I get thousands of opinions on my
writing everyday. There is heaps of praise, there is intense criticism.
If I take it all seriously, how will I write? Or rather, how will I
live? Life is not to be taken seriously, as we are really temporary
here. We are like a pre-paid card with limited validity. If we are
lucky, we may last another 50 years. And 50 years is just 2,500
weekends. Do we really need to get so worked up? It's ok, bunk a few
classes, goof up a few interviews, fall in love. We are people, not
programmed devices.

I've told you three things - reasonable goals, balance and not taking
it too seriously that will nurture the spark. However, there are four
storms in life that will threaten to completely put out the flame. These
must be guarded against. These are disappointment, frustration,
unfairness and loneliness of purpose.

Disappointment will come when your effort does not give you the
expected return. If things don't go as planned or if you face failure.
Failure is extremely difficult to handle, but those that do come out
stronger. What did this failure teach me? is the question you will need
to ask. You will feel miserable. You will want to quit, like I wanted to
when nine publishers rejected my first book. Some IITians kill
themselves over low grades - how silly is that? But that is how much
failure can hurt you.

But it's life. If challenges could always be overcome, they would cease
to be a challenge. And remember - if you are failing at something, that
means you are at your limit or potential. And that's where you want to
be.

Disappointment' s cousin is frustration, the second storm. Have you
ever been frustrated? It happens when things are stuck. This is
especially relevant in India. From traffic jams to getting that job you
deserve, sometimes things take so long that you don't know if you chose
the right goal. After books, I set the goal of writing for Bollywood, as
I thought they needed writers. I am called extremely lucky, but it took
me five years to get close to a release.

Frustration saps excitement, and turns your initial energy into
something negative, making you a bitter person. How did I deal with it?
A realistic assessment of the time involved - movies take a long time to
make even though they are watched quickly, seeking a certain enjoyment
in the process rather than the end result - at least I was learning how
to write scripts , having a side plan - I had my third book to write
and even something as simple as pleasurable distractions in your life -
friends, food, travel can help you overcome it. Remember, nothing is to
be taken seriously. Frustration is a sign somewhere, you took it too
seriously.

Unfairness - this is hardest to deal with, but unfortunately that is
how our country works. People with connections, rich dads, beautiful
faces, pedigree find it easier to make it - not just in Bollywood, but
everywhere. And sometimes it is just plain luck. There are so few
opportunities in India, so many stars need to be aligned for you to make
it happen. Merit and hard work is not always linked to achievement in
the short term, but the long term correlation is high, and ultimately
things do work out. But realize, there will be some people luckier than
you.

In fact, to have an opportunity to go to college and understand this
speech in English means you are pretty darn lucky by Indian standards.
Let's be grateful for what we have and get the strength to accept what
we don't. I have so much love from my readers that other writers cannot
even imagine it. However, I don't get literary praise. It's ok. I don't
look like Aishwarya Rai, but I have two boys who I think are more
beautiful than her. It's ok. Don't let unfairness kill your spark.

Finally, the last point that can kill your spark is isolation. As you
grow older you will realize you are unique. When you are little, all
kids want Ice cream and Spiderman. As you grow older to college, you
still are a lot like your friends. But ten years later and you realize
you are unique. What you want, what you believe in, what makes you feel,
may be different from even the people closest to you. This can create
conflict as your goals may not match with others. . And you may drop
some of them. Basketball captains in college invariably stop playing
basketball by the time they have their second child. They give up
something that meant so much to them. They do it for their family. But
in doing that, the spark dies. Never, ever make that compromise. Love
yourself first, and then others.

There you go. I've told you the four thunderstorms - disappointment,
frustration, unfairness and isolation. You cannot avoid them, as like
the monsoon they will come into your life at regular intervals. You just
need to keep the raincoat handy to not let the spark die.

I welcome you again to the most wonderful years of your life. If
someone gave me the choice to go back in time, I will surely choose
college. But I also hope that ten years later as well, you eyes will
shine the same way as they do today. That you will Keep the Spark alive,
not only through college, but through the next 2,500 weekends. And I
hope not just you, but my whole country will keep that spark alive, as
we really need it now more than any moment in history. And there is
something cool about saying - I come from the land of a billion sparks.

 

A Very Nice Story

Once upon a time ...

There was a rich King who had 4 wives.

He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to the finest of delicacies. He gave her nothing but the best.

He also loved the 3rd wife very much and was always showing her off to neighbouring kingdoms. However, he feared that one day
she would leave him for another.

He also loved his 2nd wife. She was his confidante and was always kind, considerate and patient with him. Whenever the King faced a problem, he could confide in her to help him get through the difficult times.

The King's 1st wife was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and kingdom. However, he did not love the first wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.

One day, the King fell ill and he knew his time was short.

He thought of his luxurious life and pondered, "I now have 4 wives with me, but when I die, I'll be all alone.

Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I have loved you the most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?"

"No way!" replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word.

Her answer cut like a sharp knife right into his heart.

The sad King then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?"

"No!" replied the 3rd wife. "Life is too good!
When you die, I'm going to remarry!"

His heart sank and turned cold.

He then asked the 2nd wife, "I have always turned to you for help and you've always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me
and keep me company?"

"I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!" replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only accompany you till your grave."

Her answer came like a bolt of thunder and the King was devastated.

Then a voice called out:

"I'll leave with you and follow you no matter where you go." The King looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny,
she suffered from malnutrition.

Greatly grieved & ashamed of himself, the King said, "I should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!" & His eyes filled with tears.

In Truth, we all have 4 wives in our lives ....

Our 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it'll leave us when we die.

Our 3rd wife is our possessions, status and wealth.
When we die, it will all go to others.

Our 2nd wife is our friends. No matter how much they have been there for us, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.

AND

And our 1st wife is our Parents ,

often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the ego.
However, our Parents are the only ones that will follow us and guide us, wherever we go.

So Love them at ur best ..... They need and Love you most !!!
You are their greatest gift. Make them yours TODAY.

Tell them how much you love them today. Tomorrow may never come. If they are not living with you, call them by phone, visit them, email them...do whatever it takes. Also, reply back to me, to tell me how whether you liked this mail.

Daughters-in-law

It is a known fact that all daughters-in-law have problems with their mothers-in-law.

Anyway, One day the daughters-in-law all got together and decided to apologise to their mothers-in-law for everything they had apparently done wrong. 

 

A week later the daughters-in-law decided to take their families (including their mothers-in-law) on a picnic.

 

The mothers-in-law were all in one bus, which was the first to leave.

 

On the way their bus had an accident and all the mothers-in-law died. 

 

The daughters-in-law were devastated but one in particular was more heart broken than the rest.

 

Everyone tried to console her by telling her that at least her mother-in-law had died without any tension between them.  

 

But still she cried.

 

Eventually when she was calm enough to speak the other women asked her:

 

'why are you crying so much? Was your mother-in-law that special?'...........................  

 

The woman replied: 'no, she missed the bus!'

Don't be ashamed of our flaws

An  elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which  she carried across her neck.

One of  the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered  a full portion of water.

At the  end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only  half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home  only one and a half pots of water. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its  accomplishments.

But the  poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it  could only do half of what it had been made to do.
After two years of what  it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream.  
'I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak  out all the way back to your house.'

 The  old woman smiled, 'Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the  path, but not on the other pot's side?' 

'That's  because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your  side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them.'
For two  years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the  table. 

Without  you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the  house.' 

 

Each of  us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make  our lives together so very interesting and rewarding.

You've  just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in  them.

Always  remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path!

To enjoy In The Rain

It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's,arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb.

He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would be able to see him.

I saw him looking at his watch, and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry.

The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

I inquired as to her health; he told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease.

As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late.

He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him, 'And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are'?

He smiled as he patted my hand and said, 'She doesn't know me, but I  still know who she is'.

I had to hold back tears as he left; I had goose bumps on my arm, and  thought, 'That is the kind of love I want in my life'.

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.
'Life isn't about how to survive the storm,
But how to enjoy in the rain.'

KINDNESS = MIRACLES

KINDNESS =  MIRACLES

One day a woman was walking down the street when she spied a beggar sitting on the corner.
The man was elderly, unshaven, and ragged. As he sat there, pedestrians walked by him giving
him dirty looks They clearly wanted nothing to do with him because of who he was -- a dirty,
homeless man. But when she saw him, the woman was moved to compassion.

It was very cold that day and the man had his tattered coat -- more like an old suit coat rather than a warm coat -- wrapped around him. She stopped and looked down. "Sir?" she asked. "Are you all right?"

The man slowly looked up. This was a woman clearly accustomed to the finer things of life.
Her coat was new. She looked like that she had never missed a meal in her life. His first thought was that she wanted to make fun of him, like so many others had done before. "Leave me
alone," he growled.

To his amazement, the woman continued standing. She was smiling -- her even white teeth displayed in dazzling rows. "Are you hungry?" she asked. "No," he answered sarcastically. "I've just
come from dining with the President. Now go away."

The woman's smile became even broader. Suddenly the man felt a gentle hand under his arm. "What are you doing, lady?" the man asked angrily. "I said to leave me alone."

Just then a policeman came up. "Is there any problem, ma'am?" he asked.

"No problem here, officer," the woman answered. "I'm just trying to get this man to his feet.
Will you help me?"

The officer scratched his head. "That's old Jack. He's been a fixture around here for a couple of years. What do you want with him?" "See that cafeteria over there?" she asked. "I'm going to get him something to eat and get him out of the cold for awhile."

"Are you crazy, lady?" the homeless man resisted. "I don't want to go in there!" Then he felt strong hands grab his other arm and lift him up. "Let me go, officer. I didn't do anything."

"This is a good deal for you, Jack," the officer answered. "Don't blow it."

Finally, and with some difficulty, the woman and the police officer got Jack into the cafeteria and sat him at a table in a remote corner. It was the middle of the morning, so most of the breakfast crowd
had already left and the lunch bunch had not yet arrived. The manager strode across the cafeteria and stood by the table.


"What's going on here, officer?" he asked. "What is all this. Is this man in trouble?"

"This lady brought this man in here to be fed," the policeman answered.

"Not in here!" the manager replied angrily. "Having a person like that here is bad for business."

Old Jack smiled a toothless grin. "See, lady. I told you so. Now if you'll let me go. I didn't want to come here in the first place."

The woman turned to the cafeteria manager and smiled. "Sir, are you familiar with Eddy and Associates, the banking firm down the street?" "Of course I am," the manager answered impatiently. "They hold their weekly meetings in one of my banquet rooms."

"And do you make a goodly amount of money providing food at these weekly meetings?"

"What business is that of yours?"

"I, sir, am Penelope Eddy, president and CEO of the company."

"Oh."

The woman smiled again. "I thought that might make a difference." She glanced at the cop who was busy stifling a giggle. "Would you like to join us in a cup of coffee and a meal, officer?"

"No thanks, ma'am," the officer replied. "I'm on duty."

"Then, perhaps, a cup of coffee to go?"

"Yes, ma'am. That would be very nice."

The cafeteria manager turned on his heel. "I'll get your coffee for you Right away, officer."

The officer watched him walk away. "You certainly put him in his place," he said. "That was not my intent. Believe it or not, I have a reason for all this."

She sat down at the table across from her amazed dinner guest. She stared at him intently. "Jack, do you remember me?" Old Jack searched her face with his old, rheumy eyes "I think so -- I mean you do look familiar."

"I'm a little older perhaps," she said. "Maybe I've even filled out more than in my younger days when you worked here, and I came through that very door, cold and hungry."

"Ma'am?" the officer said questioningly. He couldn't believe that such a magnificently turned out woman could ever have been hungry.

"I was just out of college," the woman began. "I had come to the city looking for a job, but I couldn't find anything. Finally I was down to my last few cents and had been kicked out of my apartment. I walked the streets for days. It was February and I was cold and nearly starving. I saw this place and walked in on the off chance that I could get something to eat."

Jack lit up with a smile. "Now I remember," he said. "I was behind the serving counter. You came up and asked me if you could work for something to eat. I said that it was against company policy."

"I know," the woman continued. "Then you made me the biggest roast beef sandwich that I had ever seen, gave me a cup of coffee, and told me to go over to a corner table and enjoy it. I was afraid that you would get into trouble. Then, when I looked over, I saw you put the price of my food in the cash register. I knew then that everything would be all right."

"So you started your own business?" Old Jack said.

"I got a job that very afternoon. I worked my way up. Eventually I started my own business that, with the help of God, prospered." She opened her purse and pulled out a business card.
"When you are finished here, I want you to pay a visit to a Mr. Lyons. He's the personnel director of my company. I'll go talk to him now and I'm certain he'll find something for you to do around the office." She smiled. "I think he might even find the funds to give you a little advance so that you can buy some clothes and get a place to live until you get on your feet And if you ever need anything,
my door is always opened to you."

There were tears in the old man's eyes. "How can I ever thank you," he said.

"Don't thank me," the woman answered. "To God goes the glory. He led me to you."

Outside the cafeteria, the officer and the woman paused at the entrance before going their separate ways. "Thank you for all your help, officer," she said.

"On the contrary, Ms. Eddy," he answered. "Thank you. I saw a miracle today, something that I will never forget. And... And thank you for the coffee."

She frowned. "I forgot to ask you whether you used cream or sugar. That's black."

The officer looked at the steaming cup of coffee in his hand. "Yes, I do take cream and sugar --
perhaps more sugar than is good for me." He patted his ample stomach.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"I don't need it now," he replied smiling. "I've got the feeling that this coffee you bought me is going to taste as sweet as sugar."

------------------

If you have missed knowing me, you have missed nothing.

If you have missed some of my emails, you may have missed a laugh or even a tear.

If you've never done a random act of kindness - you have absolutely no idea what you've missed!

Do one today and witness a miracle!